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How to Pick Up Girls on the Dancefloor: What Not To Do

Feeling uncomfortable or threatened is one of the worst ways you can make a woman feel. As a woman (or any person), you never want to be put in that situation. As a man (or any person), you should never put a woman (or any other person) in that situation.

Whether it’s in the workplace, on the street, or at the club, there are lots of ways you could be making women uncomfortable. Sometimes, you don’t even realize what you’re doing until it’s too late. For these cases, we’ve come up with a few cues to help you from making the women around your from feeling uncomfortable.

It’s All in the Eyes

It might sound silly, but it’s true. The way you look at a person can easily make them uncomfortable. You need to look at women like they’re people, not objects. Don’t stare at her without saying anything. Don’t look her up and down when you meet her, or even from a distance. If you are talking to her, make sure you look her in the eyes and allow for natural breaks in eye contact.

Watch What You Say

Don’t be a jerk. A good rule of thumb when talking to a lady for the first time is not saying anything to her you wouldn’t want your mom or grandmother hearing you say. If you do that, you’re probably not saying anything that will make her feel uncomfortable. On top of what you say, make sure you monitor how loud you’re saying it. If you speak too quietly, she won’t hear what you’re saying. If you talk too loudly, you’ll be yelling at her and she won’t want to talk to you at all.

No Touching

Do not ever touch a woman you don’t know without permission. Nothing screams sexual harassment more than touching a woman who doesn’t want to be touched. You shouldn’t hover around a girl is without saying anything – odds are she’ll get creeped out and not want to talk to you. You should never, ever follow a girl on a street. When you introduce yourself to her, stick to a handshake. When you’re talking to her, stand straight up and don’t creepily lean over her. To make sure you’re not invading her personal space, stay four or more feet from her until she comes into your space. If she wants to dance with you, she will. You don’t need to grab her or force yourself on her.

Watch Out for Vibes

Your energy can be felt. If you’re really excited, keep it to yourself – if you’re too forward you’ll blow your chances and probably end up ruining her night. If you’re nervous, try not to smile nervously: in animals, baring your teeth shows aggression, and too much smiling can be taken similarly when it comes to how you look to a woman. Be mindful of the vibes you’re sending out, and even more importantly watch out for the vibes she’s giving out. If she likes you, she’ll smile; she’ll move to be closer to you; she’ll keep talking to you and even touch you. If she’s not doing any of these things, she’s not vibing with you and you need to move on.

Be Respectful

This one is the most vague, but the most important. Women are not objects, they’re people like you and need to be treated as such. Treat each woman you meet with the same respect you’d treat your grandmother, mother, or sister, and nothing less.


When you make a woman feel uncomfortable or sexually harassed, you make them feel devalued. Women have souls. If all you see in a woman is her sexual potential, you make her feel like her soul has no worth or meaning. When you meet a woman, or any new person, you should always have the golden rule in mind: treat others the way you’d want to be treated yourself.

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